The secrets to getting a second date: Scientists say good manners are key for men – but it’s all about flirting for women
- A University of Florida-led study has shared the secrets to getting a second date
- Women look for a polite man who’s a good listener and asks a lot of questions
- Men like dates who dish out compliments, hold hands and even drink alcohol
Whether it’s a cheesy chat up line or bouquet of flowers, there are countless classic tactics to impress on a first date.
But now scientists have revealed some of the most successful ways of securing a second outing.
Their findings suggest that the secrets to getting a second date differ dramatically between men and women.
For ladies, the study suggests that it’s all about flirty eye contact, dishing out compliments and holding hands.
In contrast, polite men who ask a lot of questions are more likely to bag a second date.
Whether it’s a cheesy chat up line or bouquet of flowers, there are countless classic tactics to impress on a first date. But now scientists have revealed some of the most successful ways of securing a second outing
THE MOST POPULAR DATING STRATEGIES FOR MEN AND WOMEN
- Holding hands
- Drinking alcohol
- Deep conversations
- Asking questions
‘I became interested in this topic from observing a really bad date at a bar while I was out with my friends,’ lead researcher James Moran of the University of Florida told PsychPost.
‘The man on the date was acting so weird and aggressive toward the woman on the date that she got up and left, and he was flabbergasted.
‘I was a master’s student at the time and studying relationship science and was curious whether anyone had investigated behaviors that are more successful on a first date.’
The study recruited 131 participants to understand green flags in heterosexual dating scene.
Men and women were asked to rank what they believed were key attributes in a date among the categories of ‘etiquette’, ‘involvement’ and ‘behaviour’.
Being polite, attentive and talkative were largely referred to as ‘etiquette’ while ‘involvement’ encompassed drinking alcohol and holding hands for instance.
Meanwhile, ‘behaviour’ just included two attributes which were paying for the date and holding the door open.
In the eyes of women, dates with the most etiquette were perceived to be more successful in the dating world.
So, any date that gets a bit too drunk or can’t stop checking his phone may be at risk of being ghosted.
On the flipside, men liked women who were more ‘involved’ and exhibited more romantic gestures like holding hands and flirting.
While flirty eye contact and drinking alcohol are perceived to be a top priority for women, it’s believed that polite men who ask a lot of questions are more likely to seal the deal
After these surveys, scientists watched the reality Netflix show Dating Around to understand the true role of these dating perceptions and strategies
Interestingly, these behaviours did not completely match up with the views that men and women have of themselves and their own dating strategies.
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Scientists revealed that women prioritise wearing makeup and being funny on a first date if they want the chance of another.
But men are more likely to be silly and even pick up a woman in their car if they’re interested in a second date.
Even still, the researchers question how much influence these strategies have in reality.
After these surveys, scientists watched the reality Netflix show Dating Around to understand their true role.
Etiquette and involvement didn’t have much influence at all – highlighting a stark contrast between perceptions and real life.
However, researchers acknowledged that TV programmes are not always true to life and heavily edited.
They wrote: ‘Reality shows about dating similar to ‘Dating Around’ (e.g., the Bachelor) are notoriously popular for editing out scenes or guiding individuals towards liking specific people in the interest of increasing television ratings.’
They later added: ‘Single individuals can benefit from this research because many people are searching for their long-term romantic partner and experience a lot of stress from dating.
‘Like the quote by Ryan Reynolds suggests, ‘A first date is an interview.”
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